


September - "What We Should Have"

by TheWorldIsYou13



Series: A Calendar of Stories [9]
Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Short One Shot, references to stillbirths
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-30
Updated: 2017-09-30
Packaged: 2019-01-07 09:55:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 488
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12230526
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheWorldIsYou13/pseuds/TheWorldIsYou13
Summary: At the time when the kids go back to school, the Doctor is reminded of what he and Rose should have.(apologies for the summary)





	September - "What We Should Have"

**Author's Note:**

> OK, so does it count that i wrote this before midnight but that it won't be up until a few minutes after? Ah well, if not, I'm amazed I've got anything up at all. I've struggled with this one as I've been super busy with Uni, work and just generally trying to stay awake and alert enough to even sit down and write. But thankfully I managed to write this today.  
> It's short and fairly angst filled - not exactly the route I had planned, but oh well. Also, I'm going to say that this is the unofficial sequel to my April fic since they're both with TenII and can logically be seen as part of the same story. However, if you want to see this as completely separate then by all means do. 
> 
> Just a few more things: I've put it in the warnings but this does mention stillbirths, so if that's something that bothers you, read with care or don't read at all. I don't go into detail, but I'm aware that it can be upsetting for people, particularly if it's something they've been through.
> 
> Also, I wrote this on my mobile, so I apologise for any typos since I'm even worse at typing on a screen than I am a normal keyboard (I'm writing this on my tablet and it's not much better)
> 
> Right, I think that's everything. Goodbye for now!!
> 
> \- Emma :)

September

It was Autumn now, the leaves had started to turn and the nights were drawing in earlier. When itrained, it poured, leaving wet leaves and muddy pavements in its wake.

It was raining today. It had been raining for three days straight now and showed little sign ofstopping. It mirrored his mood perfectly, though.

He was feeling down; had been for a few days now. It had only hit him the other day, though, as hewalked into town. He had heard the sounds of children laughing; saw a group of four year-olds juststarting their first year of school, their hands held tightly in their parents’. That should have beenhim, and Rose. They should have been there, walking into the school gates with their child about todrop him off for his first day of school.

But they weren’t there. Not this year. Not like they should have been.

It had been a while since he had thought about the child they has lost in this way, often choosing notto focus on it at all. Rose had fallen pregnant less than a year after they had come to this world afterthe Daleks and he remembered feeling over the moon knowing that he could have this life.

But nine months later, he realised that, although now part human and allowed to be with the womanhe loved, the universe still wasn’t ready to let him have this. They had lost their child. Stillborn.

It had hurt them both and for months it felt as though this might be the thing to tear them apart. Butit didn’t; they got through it together. And eventually, the pain started to fade. But it was still there. Itwould always be there, underneath the surface.

It had been nearly five years ago now and since they had not consciously tried for any more children.They just weren’t ready. Not yet.

But since he saw the children from their area start the new school year, and saw the youngest startfor the very first time, he realised that this was something he wanted more than anything. He wantedto be at those gates, holding his son or daughter’s hand, waving them off before heading on to workand then meeting them in the afternoon. He wanted to tell them that things would be alright if theywere scared about starting. He wanted a family.

And realising that this year should have been the year he and Rose were at those gates just madehim long for what he could have had.

However, he refused to let the memories of what had happened consume him. In a handful of yearshe would be back and that September would go as this one should have.

It was all just a matter of time and not giving up.

The universe couldn’t surely hate him that much, now, could It?

  



End file.
